richardcreech:

MY FRIEND JUST WENT OUT FOR DINNER AND THIS MOTHERFUCKER TURNED UP AT THE WINDOW LIKE HE HAD A FRICKING RESERVATION
GOD DAMMIT AUSTRALIA
littlelotte-xo:

curlicuecal:

Games with English: insert the word “only” anywhere into the above sentence and consider how the placement changes meaning.

Omg this is cool

clientsfromhell:

I recently used a client’s phone after a meeting in his office. After getting back to my own offices, I received a call from him. 

Client: You need to fix my phone line RIGHT NOW. I can’t receive any calls.

Me: Are you calling me from your mobile?

Client: No, from my normal phone.

Me: The one that’s not working?

Client: Yes! I’m trying to call it now with my mobile and all I get is an engaged tone! It’s not picking up the call!

Me: Oh dear God.

http://clientsfromhell.net/post/94725172743/client-hi-can-you-make-me-a-cd-i-want-to-know

clientsfromhell:

Client: Hi, can you make me a CD? I want to know what it costs and when it’ll be done.

Me: Sure, what kind of package do you want? What can you tell me about the artist and their music?

Client: No time for any of that BS, just tell me the prices.

Me: Well, here are some rough ballparks for…

http://clientsfromhell.net/post/95461121275/a-client-ordered-a-product-from-me-that-required

clientsfromhell:

A client ordered a product from me that required pickup. He called to ask about the status of it.

Me: Your order is ready for pickup. I’ve tried to call multiple times over the past few days, but your voicemail box was full and I couldn’t leave a message.

Client: So my order has been ready?…

clientsfromhell:

Me: Here are the photographs from the shoot yesterday

Client: Nice shots - I like this one from behind the man. Can you just flip the image so we can see his face and not the back of his head?

Me: You want me to turn him around in the photograph so you can see his face?

Client: Yes - and maybe we can make him black. Do you have Photoshop?

http://clientsfromhell.net/post/15957759826/client-my-previous-developer-set-up-my-paypal-for

clientsfromhell:

Client: My previous developer set up my Paypal for me.

Me: And have you accessed it at all?

Client: No - they said I should just start seeing money going into my bank account automatically.

Me: And have you seen any money?

Client: No, but I haven’t talked to my her since her…

http://clientsfromhell.net/post/95915006943/client-how-long-will-it-take-to-produce-this-case

clientsfromhell:

Client: How long will it take to produce this case study video?

Me: Four weeks from script and storyboard sign-off.

Client: We only have two weeks to get it done. We can give you an extra two days on top of the two weeks, will that help?

Me: It will help, yes. But only if we get the…

clientsfromhell:

Me: “What browser are you on?”

Client: “Google.”

Me: “Google Chrome?”

Client: “No, just regular Google.”

Me: “That’s the site. I want to know the browser.”

Client: “Google.”

Me: “No.”

Client: “Look, we can have this conversation forever, man. But when I hit the internet logo, Google comes up!”

Me: “Okay…What does that “internet logo” look like?

Client: “…A fiery fox, I guess. But that’s irrelevant.”

(via graphicallyill)

awwww-cute:

Every morning for the past 2 years I wake up and roll over to this face
12,963 plays

play this at my funeral 

(Source: jadexalice, via lovefuriously)