I recently used a client’s phone after a meeting in his office. After getting back to my own offices, I received a call from him.
Client: You need to fix my phone line RIGHT NOW. I can’t receive any calls.
Me: Are you calling me from your mobile?
Client: No, from my normal phone.
Me: The one that’s not working?
Client: Yes! I’m trying to call it now with my mobile and all I get is an engaged tone! It’s not picking up the call!
Me: Oh dear God.
Client: Hi, can you make me a CD? I want to know what it costs and when it’ll be done.
Me: Sure, what kind of package do you want? What can you tell me about the artist and their music?
Client: No time for any of that BS, just tell me the prices.
Me: Well, here are some rough ballparks for…
A client ordered a product from me that required pickup. He called to ask about the status of it.
Me: Your order is ready for pickup. I’ve tried to call multiple times over the past few days, but your voicemail box was full and I couldn’t leave a message.
Client: So my order has been ready?…
Me: Here are the photographs from the shoot yesterday
Client: Nice shots - I like this one from behind the man. Can you just flip the image so we can see his face and not the back of his head?
Me: You want me to turn him around in the photograph so you can see his face?
Client: Yes - and maybe we can make him black. Do you have Photoshop?
Client: My previous developer set up my Paypal for me.
Me: And have you accessed it at all?
Client: No - they said I should just start seeing money going into my bank account automatically.
Me: And have you seen any money?
Client: No, but I haven’t talked to my her since her…
Client: How long will it take to produce this case study video?
Me: Four weeks from script and storyboard sign-off.
Client: We only have two weeks to get it done. We can give you an extra two days on top of the two weeks, will that help?
Me: It will help, yes. But only if we get the…
Me: “What browser are you on?”
Me: “Google Chrome?”
Client: “No, just regular Google.”
Me: “That’s the site. I want to know the browser.”
Client: “Look, we can have this conversation forever, man. But when I hit the internet logo, Google comes up!”
Me: “Okay…What does that “internet logo” look like?
Client: “…A fiery fox, I guess. But that’s irrelevant.”